MITT ROMNEY – THE MUSICAL
To the tune of “Macavity: The Mystery Cat” from CATS
Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney is a mystery cat
He’s of the one percent
He’s a master Venture capit’list who pines for President
He’s in Boston, he’s in Utah
He’s at Bain, he’s listed there
But when you peel the filings back, Mitt Romney’s not there!
Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney, he retired retroactively
He’s banking in the Cayman Isles
His friends are foreign entities
His powers of job creation should be clear as daylight’s glare
But when you seek the numbers out Mitt Romney’s not there!
You may seek him at Bain Capital
You may look at RomneyCare
But I tell you once and once again
Mitt Romney’s not there!
Mitt Romney is a sneaky cat
With convictions razor thin
He supports a woman’s right to choose, no wait that’s now a sin
Global Warming, yes it’s happening
No wait, it’s really not
That’s a socialist conspiracy
An Obama liberal plot
He flips and flops from left to right
And holds that glassy stare
But when you look into his eyes
Mitt Romney isn’t there!
Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney, Fulfills the White Horse Prophecy
With his secret ceremonies
And his multiple Residencies
You won’t see what’s in his blind trusts
Or his sacred underwear
‘Cuz when it’s time to open up Mitt Romney’s not there!
And when the pension’s looted
Or the equity’s been stifled
Or when the money’s missing
Or the labor contracts rifled
Or the acquisition’s broken (smash), the investment past repair
There’s the wonder of the thing:
Mitt Romney wasn’t there!
Mitt Romney, Mitt Romney, Conservative? Severely!
His puppies ride upon the roof, they love it there, no really!
He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
Whatever place he took before, Mitt Romney’s no longer there!
VALIDATE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE
Parody lyrics by Mock The Dummy
Original score by Andrew Lloyd Webber