WHEN DUMMIES DOUBLE DOWN ON A DYING DEMOGRAPHIC
Dummy: Welcome to my Tea Party.
We dummies sense we might have an image problem.
Dummy 2: Image problem?
Dummy: Senator Lindsey Graham says that the GOP is losing the demographics race badly. He says, and I quote, “we’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”
Gramps: Hey! Who’s he calling angry?!
Dummy: Dummies wake up!
We dummies disagree that the GOP is only made up of old, angry, white dummies. To prove it we’ve invited one of our many, many minority members to talk to you. Take it away … homey.
CUT TO EMPTY CHAIR
Dummy: Thank you for joining us. You obviously are not an old, angry, white dummy. (chuckles) You’re a young, calm, black guy, yo. What do you want me to tell Mr. Romney?
I can’t tell him to do that. He can’t do that to himself. That’s illegal in thirty one states.
All fifty with a Romney presidency.
What? What did you say? (confused) What’s the White Horse Prophecy?
Gramps: Hey! That’s not a young, calm, black guy. That’s Barack Hussein Obama!
Dummy: He couldn’t be here in our Tea Party. We just tightened the ID requirements.
Gramps: It’s him! It’s him! I can tell by the fake birth certificate branded on his forehead. What do you mean shut up? You Socialist! You Marxist! You communist! You big spending liberal! This is how we feed the animals, you fascist, marriage-killing Muslim!
Dummy 2: Are you worried it will hurt our credibility to keep showing this angry, old, white dummy attacking an Obama that only exists in his imagination?
Dummy: I think we’re okay as long as it’s not a forcible attack.
Tex: VALIDATE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE
Gramps: You American-hating antichrist! You think you can turn America into a European-style Greece? Go ahead. Make my day!