How Dummies Beef Up Their Foreign Relations Credentials

HOW DUMMIES BEEF UP THEIR FOREIGN RELATIONS CREDENTIALS

Dummy:  Welcome to our Tea Party.  We dummies want to greet our special guest who just returned from Israel.  Welcome back.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Lick Hiney.

Dummy:  Excuse me?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  That’s Jewish for “To life!”

Dummy:  I think you mean “L’Chaim”.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Lick Hiney, Lick Haim.  English is a living language!  Shakespeare liked to coin new words too, Ya know.  Ya gotta celebrate English.

Dummy:  Hebrew.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Yeah, that too.

Dummy:  Tell us about what you’re wearing.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Well, it’s Neiman Marcus, but I bought this one myself.  And I have the receipt to prove it.

Dummy:  No, I mean around your neck.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Oh, you betcha.  This is the star of David.  It symbolizes, uh, solidarity with the Jewish people and I wear it around my neck to remind myself that the brightest stars sometimes aren’t stars themselves, but actually just dance with the stars.  Plus I wanted to wear it when I met my new friend the Prime Minister. Ya know, Bibi.

Dummy:  And how was that meeting?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Oh, he really liked me.  He said I was his little Schlemiel.

Dummy:  That’s terrific.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  And I feel a lot of connection with the Jewish people because, ya know, we’ve both been persecuted.  And we’ve both been victims of blood libel.

Dummy:  And what’s that on your head.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Oh, this is a – Oh nuts.  I forgot what it’s called, but It’s a, a, it’s the little hat – you wear this to show deference to God when you are one of the chosen people.  Not to be confused with the chosen one who may have been the chosen one in 2008 but is definitely not among us chosen people.

Dummy:  Definitely not.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  How’s that whole hopey changey thing working out for you, chosen one?

Dummy:  (laughs) And tell us your thoughts about Israel.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Well, other than the fact that their apologizing all the time, it’s absolutely beautiful and overwhelming to be able to see and touch the cornerstone of our faith.

Dummy:  The Jewish faith?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Well no, the, look, Jesus was Jewish, ya know.

Dummy:  Right.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  And whether you call him, ya know, Jesus or the Messiah, we’re all waiting for him to come back.  And probably soon, ya know, with all the earthquakes and tsunamis and wars and rumors of wars and radiation and, ya know, the Antichrist in the White House.

Dummy:  Right.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  And whether you call him God or Jesus or YHWH it’s the same guy who knows when you’ve been sleeping and knows when you’re awake and knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake.

Dummy:  That’s right.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Cuz, ya know, we start destroying our marriage traditions and suddenly there’s all these earthquakes.  I’m not saying, you know, God is causing earthquakes.  I’m not not saying that either.  What God does is God’s business.  But I’ll tell you this:  whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus – there is a message being sent.  And that is ‘Hey, you know that stuff we’re doing?  Not really working out real well.  Maybe we should stop doing some of it.’

Dummy:  Relying too heavily on nuclear energy and fossil fuels?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  No, dummy, gay marriage.  (AAA!)

Dummy:  Oh yeah.  Well, this trip certainly has shown that you have international credentials far beyond being able to see Russia from Alaska.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Which is still valid.

Dummy:  How would our response to the war in Libya have been different with you as Commander in Chief?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  “Certainly there would have been more decisiveness, there would have been more commitment to making sure that those who are freedom fighters, who truly desire democracy and free and fair elections and respect for human rights and women’s rights, that they know that America is on their side.  So, yes, there would have been more decisiveness and less dithering’? Less dithering, more decisiveness.”

Dummy:  More decisiveness.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  That’s right. It’s important when you speak, ya know, that your statements in regards to what you’re saying are, ya know, really clear .  Real leadership, and this needs to come from our president – real leadership is a president who will seek to be informed and seek to inform the American public, and not get involved in what’s essentially a zoning issue in Israel and not, ya know, be engaged in, essentially, a war by committee in Libya.  We’re going to hand over command and control to a steering committee of our French and Arab League and North Korean allies.  It’s just, it’s important to be clear and to be informed.  Yamaka!  That’s it.  It’s a Yamaka!  I knew I’d get it.

Dummy:  Mazel Tov.

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Mazel your own toff, dummy.

Tex:  RELEASE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Sarah Palin Dummy:  Who can get more fans?  This Steak or Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin Dummy:  You will never have more fans than me and I will tell you why in two words.  You may be steak, but I am all sizzle.  And real Americans like sizzle.  Okay four words.

Donald Trump Dummy:  Release the Birth Certificate.  You’re fired.

HOW DUMMIES BEEF UP THEIR FOREIGN RELATIONS CREDENTIALS

NOTES

  1. English is a living language! Shakespeare liked to coin new words too, Ya know. Ya gotta celebrate English.

“‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”

Sarah Palin Tweet explaining her use of the word “refudiate”, July 18, 2010

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20010892-503544.html

  1. Well, it’s Neiman Marcus, but I bought this one myself. And I have the receipt to prove it.

Jeanne Cummings, RNC Shells Out $150K For Palin Fasion, Politico, 10/22/2008

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1008/14805.html

  1. This is the star of David. It symbolizes, uh, solidarity with the Jewish people and I wear it around my neck to remind myself that the brightest stars sometimes aren’t stars themselves, but actually just dance with the stars.

Elizabeth Tenety, Sarah Palin Sports Star of David Necklace During Israel Trip, Washington Post, 3/24/2011

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/under-god/post/sarah-palin-sports-star-of-david-necklace-during-israel-trip/2011/03/23/ABbpITPB_blog.html

Sahryn Alfonsi, DWTS Dirty Politics?  Rage Behind Bristol Palin’s Success Intensifies, ABC News,  11/18/2010

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/bristol-palin-dancing-stars-dirty-politics/story?id=12177892

  1. Plus I wanted to wear it when I met my new friend the Prime Minister. Ya know, Bibi.

Sarah Palin dines with Israel’s Netanyahu, France 24, 3/21/2011

http://www.france24.com/en/20110321-sarah-palin-dines-with-israels-netanyahu

  1. He said I was his little Schlemiel.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/schlemiel

  1. And I feel a lot of connection with the Jewish people because, ya know, we’ve both been persecuted. And we’ve both been victims of blood libel.

John Whitesides, Palin’s “blood libel” charge ignites firestorm, Reuters, 1/12/2011

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/01/12/us-usa-shooting-palin-idUSTRE70B3W320110112

  1. Not to be confused with the chosen one who may have been the chosen one in 2008 but is definitely not among us chosen people.

McCain Advert Mocks Obama As The Chosen One, Belfast Telegraph, 8/2/2008

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/breaking-news/world/north-america/mccain-advert-mocks-obama-as-the-chosen-one-13926803.html

  1. How’s that whole hopey changey thing working out for you, chosen one?

David Weigel, Palin Speaks:  ‘How’s That Hopey-Changey Thing Working Out For Ya?’, Washington Independent, 2/6/2010

http://washingtonindependent.com/75992/palin-speaks

  1. Well, other than the fact that they’re apologizing all the time, it’s absolutely beautiful and overwhelming to be able to see and touch the cornerstone of our faith.

James Oliphant, Sarah Palin in Jerusalem, Affirms Her Support For Israel, L.A. Times, 3/21/2011

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/mar/21/news/la-palin-israel-20110322

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1x87rdvQsU

  1. I’m not saying, you know, God is causing earthquakes. I’m not not saying that either. What God does is God’s business.  But I’ll tell you this:  whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus – there is a message being sent.  And that is ‘Hey, you know that stuff we’re doing?  Not really working out real well.  Maybe we should stop doing some of it.’

Ben Dimiero, Beck: “I’m Not Not Saying” God Is Causing Earthquakes, Media Matters, 3/14/2011

http://mediamatters.org/blog/201103140010

  1. Oh yeah. Well, this trip certainly has shown that you have international credentials far beyond being able to see Russia from Alaska.

Nico Pitney, Palion Talks Russia With Katie Couric, Huffington Post, 9/25/2008

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/25/palin-talks-russia-with-k_n_129318.html

  1. “Certainly there would have been more decisiveness, there would have been more commitment to making sure that those who are freedom fighters, who truly desire democracy and free and fair elections and respect for human rights and women’s rights, that they know that America is on their side. So, yes, there would have been more decisiveness and less dithering’? Less dithering, more decisiveness.”

James Oliphant, Sarah Palin in Jerusalem, Affirms Her Support For Israel, L.A. Times, 3/21/2011

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/mar/21/news/la-palin-israel-20110322

  1. Real leadership, and this needs to come from our president – real leadership is a president who will seek to be informed and seek to inform the American public, and not get involved in what’s essentially a zoning issue in Israel and not, ya know, be engaged in, essentially, a war by committee in Libya. We’re going to hand over command and control to a steering committee of our French and Arab League and North Korean allies.

Palin Speaks Out…, On The Record with Greta Van Sustern, Fox News, 3/23/2011

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/on-the-record/transcript/palin-speaks-out-us-backed-mission-libya-israel-bill-maher-and-being-039tempted039-run-20

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/24/sarah-palin-north-korea_n_788107.html

  1. Release the Birth Certificate. You’re fired.

Kendra Marr, Donald Trump, Birther?, Politico, 3/17/2011

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0311/51473.html

  1. You will never have more fans than me and I will tell you why in two words

Who can get more fans?  This Steak or Sarah P.A.L.I.N?

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Who-can-get-more-fans-This-Steak-or-Sarah-PALI-N/308104178721

How Dummies Beef Up Their Foreign Relations Credentials

How Dummies Prepare to Shut Down Government

HOW DUMMIES PREPARE TO SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENT

Dummy:  Welcome to my Tea Party.  Today, we dummies want to discuss why it’s time to put an end to all of this wasteful foreign aid.

ROAM

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  I interrupt this program with some breaking news.  I’m here at the request of the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD and not to compete with any other dummy.

Dummies, wake up!

There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’.  Most members of congress didn’t even know.

Dummy:  You didn’t know?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We didn’t know.  We didn’t know.

Dummy:  Why didn’t you know?  Because you didn’t bothered to read it?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  It wasn’t that we didn’t bother to read it.  Of course we read it.  How else do you think we knew about the secret death panels (AAA!), the abortion provision (AAA!), the soviet style rationing (AAA!), that fact that it increases the cost of health care (AAA!) the slush fund for Acorn (AAA!) and the destruction of the private insurance market (AAA!) No, the reason we didn’t know is because it was hidden!

Dummy:  It was hidden?  (oh no!)  It was hidden?  (oh no!)  Where was it hidden?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  They hid it there!  Obamacare!

They hid it there!  Obamacare!  They didn’t care.

They broke it up!  They spread it out.  They hid it there!

It’s in the bill

Dummy:  It’s in the bill?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We didn’t know.

Dummy:  They hid it there?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  They hid the billions there!

Obamacare!

This is a crime, cause no one knew, that Harry Reid, the Kenyan fraud, with no long form, and Pelosi, they snuck it in, those little sneaks, behind closed doors, between the sheets, they stuck it in the bill!

Michele Bachmann Dummy & Dummy:  Obamacare!

They broke it up!  They spread it out!  They hid it there! Obamacare!

My Grandma’s toast.  And so is mine.  I’ll lose my home.  Obamacare!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We thought if we can’t repeal it at least we can defund it.

Dummy:  You can defund it.

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Now we can’t defund it.

Dummy:  You can’t defund it?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  No, it is done.  It is done.

Dummy:  Noooooo! (Oh nooo! Noooo!)

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  One hundred and five billion, four hundred and sixty four million, this was tucked away inside the Obamacare bill.

Dummy:  So there’s no way to remedy this?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Yes.  The good news is, government runs out of money on March 18th.

Dummy:  That is good news.

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  This is what we propose.  Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. And then we’ll start talking about the budget.

Dummy:  Meaning, you will shutdown the government unless this money that they inserted to fund Obamacare is given back?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  That’s right.  So we need all you dummies out there to call your congressman,  Tell them “Give The Money Back”©.  (Give the money back!)  Be sure to use that exact phrase when you call so we know which households are full of dummies.  Then we can offer you special deals like these:

Dummy Advertisement 1:  One free year of SeniorAlert Help!  I’ve fallen and I can’t get put my head back on.

Dummy Advertisement 2:  Goldloan If you buy an ounce of gold right now we will give you a 5 year reverse mortgage with a forced liquidation option absolutely free!

Dummy Advertisement 3:  NRA.  A Glock 19 will protect you from liberals and Mexicans, but what about when gangster government comes knocking?  It’s time for all responsible citizens to own their own hydrogen bomb.

Dummy:  Those sound terrific!  I don’t know what we would do without patriots like you to protect us against breastfeeding, fluorescent light bulbs, and sneaky democrats.  To elect you as their representative, Minnesota’s sixth district must include some of the smartest people on the face of the-

ROAM

Dummy:  Dummies, you heard it here first.  105 billion dollars have been hidden inside of Obamacare.  Call your congressman today and say “hey ***hole, Give The Money Back!”

Tex:  RELEASE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Hello?  Hello?  Is it this particular turnip or can it be any turnip?  Because I’m definitely smarter than this turnip.  Hello?

HOW DUMMIES PREPARE TO SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENT

NOTES

  1. I’m here at the request of the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD and not to compete with any other dummy.

“I want to thank the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD for inviting me to speak this evening. I’m here at their request and not to compete with the official Republican remarks.”

Transcript: Bachmann’s response to State of the Union

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-01-25/politics/sotu.response.bachmann_1_unemployment-national-debt-tea-party-express?_s=PM:POLITICS

  1. There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’. Most members of congress didn’t even know.

“There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’. This is something that wasn’t known. This money was broken up, hidden in various parts of the bill.”
–Rep. Michele Bachmann, March 6, 2011

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/2011/03/bachmanns_bombshell_on_a_hidde.html

  1. Why didn’t you know? Because you didn’t bothered to read it? / It wasn’t that we didn’t bother to read it. … the reason we didn’t know is because it was hidden!

Bachmann: Most members of Congress don’t even know.

Van Susteren: Because they never bothered to read it?

Bachmann: It isn’t that they didn’t bother to read it. It was hidden. As a matter of fact, a report came out just in October, Congressional Research Service, that revealed for the first time that over $105 billion was appropriated.

http://factcheck.org/2011/03/no-secret-bachmann-gets-it-wrong/

  1. This is a crime, cause no one knew, that Harry Reid, the Kenyan fraud, with no long form, and Pelosi, they snuck it in, those little sneaks, behind closed doors, between the sheets, they stuck it in the bill!

“This is a crime against democracy. No one knew that Harry Reid, [Nancy] Pelosi and Obama put $105 billion in spending in the bill. … This is a bombshell.”
–Bachmann, March 8, 2011

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/2011/03/bachmanns_bombshell_on_a_hidde.html

  1. We thought if we can’t repeal it at least we can defund it. / You can defund it. / Now we can’t defund it. / You can’t defund it? / No, it is done. It is done. / Noooooo! / One hundred and five billion, four hundred and sixty four million, this was tucked away inside the Obamacare bill. / So there’s no way to remedy this? / Yes. The good news is, government runs out of money on March 18th.  This is what we propose.  Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. And then we’ll start talking about the budget. / Meaning, you will shutdown the government unless this money that they inserted to fund Obamacare is given back?

BACHMANN: Well, I think they knew, I think this was intentional. I think that, that’s why I say, Obama, Reid and Pelosi, they owe us an apology and an explanation. But they need to give the money back. This is the good news. The bad news is, Obamacare is prefunded for the next eight years, the implementation. We thought if we can’t repeal it —

HANNITY: You can defund it.

BACHMANN: — at least we can defund it. Now, we can’t defund it.

HANNITY: So, you’re telling people now that you cannot defund.

BACHMANN: No, it is done. It is done.

HANNITY: So, there’s no way to remedy this?

BACHMANN: Yes, there is. That’s the good news.

OK, now, the good news is, we’ve got this two week continuing resolution, government runs out of money on March 18th. This is what we’ve propose, we’ve written language to add on to the next continuing resolution that says, Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. You didn’t tell the American people, you didn’t tell the Senate, you didn’t tell the House, give the money back. And then, we’ll start talking about the budget, this is the first thing.

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/hannity/transcript/bachmann-demands-democrats-give-back-105-billion-inside-health-care-law

  1. I don’t know what we would do without patriots like you to protect us against breastfeeding, fluorescent light bulbs, and sneaky democrats.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Bachmann

  1. Hello? Hello? Is it this particular turnip or can it be any turnip?  Because I’m definitely smarter than this turnip.  Hello?

Who’s Smarter:  Michele Bachmann of this Turnip?

www.facebook.com/turnipN2010

How Dummies Prepare to Shut Down Government

Why Dummies Want to Take Wisconsin

WHY DUMMIES WANT TO TAKE WISCONSIN

19:10 into THE FAKE PHONE CALL…

David Koch Puppet Master:  Hahahaha.  Well, I tell you what, Scott: once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali and really show you a good time.

Scott Walker Dummy:  All right, that would be outstanding.  Thanks a million!

David Koch Puppet Master:  Bye-bye!

Scott Walker Dummy:  Bye.

Dummy Babes:  Welcome to our Squee party.

Scott Walker Dummy:  What’s a squee party?

Dummy Babes:  It’s where we dummies get together and all go SQUEE!

Scott Walker Dummy:  All right!  This is outstanding!

Dummy Babes:  Squee!

David Koch Puppet Master:  Scotty, my man, Scotty!

Charles Koch Puppet Master:  The boy that doesn’t budge.

Scott Walker Dummy:  Hey David!

David Koch Puppet Master:  This is all for you, Scotty.  Hope it’s not too cheesy.

Scott Walker Dummy:  Are you kidding?  I love cheese!

David Koch Puppet Master:  This is an exciting time.  You’re one of us, Scotty.  Our man on the ground.  How’s it feel down there?

Scott Walker Dummy:  Outstanding!

David Koch Puppet Master:  You like the view?

Scott Walker Dummy:  Oh yes.

Dummy Babes:  Squee!

David Koch Puppet Master:  Read me the bill – that part in Section 44.  Make it sing, Scotty. You know what we want.

Scott Walker Dummy:  The department may sell any state−owned heating, cooling, and power plant or may contract with a private entity for the operation of any such plant, with or without solicitation of bids, for any amount that the department determines to be in the best interest of the state.

David Koch Puppet Master:  NO BID, BABY! HAHA!

Scott Walker Dummy:  No approval or certification of the public service commission is necessary for a public utility to purchase, or contract for the operation of, such a plant, and any such purchase is considered to be in the public interest and to comply with the criteria for certification of a project

David Koch Puppet Master:  Read it again, Scotty.  Slow, like you’re sucking on the spleen of a money grubbing Kindergarten Teacher.

Scott Walker Dummy:  The department may sell any state−owned heating, cooling, and power plant or may contract with a private entity for the operation of any such plant, with or without solicitation of bids, for any amount that the department determines to be in the best interest of the state.

David Koch Puppet Master:  Ooooh, once more, Scotty.  Fast, like Michele Malkin will kiss you if she catches you.

Scott Walker Dummy:  AAA!  The department may sell any state−owned heating, cooling, and power plant or may contract with a private entity for the operation of any such plant, with or without solicitation of bids, for any amount that the department determines to be in the best interest of the state.

David Koch Puppet Master:  And who’s got your best interests, Scotty?

Scott Walker Dummy:  Oh, you, sir, you.  Flint Hills Resources, Koch Pipeline Company, The C. Reiss Coal Company.  We’re giving ‘em all to you.

Dummy Babes:  Squee!

David Koch Puppet Master:  Atta boy, Scotty.  This is our moment.  This is our chance to change the course of history.  You’re doing the just and right thing for the right reasons, and it’s all about getting our freedoms back.

Scott Walker Dummy:  We’re taking our country back!

Jester Dummy:  to vertical monopolies for energy companies)

Dummy Babes:  SQUEE!

Scott Walker Dummy:  There’s no place like home.

Dummy:  Dummy

Scott Walker Dummy:  There’s no place like home.

Dummy:  Dummy

Scott Walker Dummy:  There’s no place like-

Dummy:  Dummy, wake up!

Scott Walker Dummy:  Huh?

Dummy:  And we’re live.  Welcome back to our Tea Party.  I think you drifted off.

Scott Walker Dummy:  No.  I was in a special place.  And you were there.  And you were there.  And you were there too.

Dummies:  Hahaha.

Dummy:  You were telling our viewers how you’re ratcheting up the pressure on these lazy, wealthy union thugs.  (AAA!)  So are you ready to send those out?

Scott Walker Dummy:  Send what out?

Dummy:  The at-risk notices so you can lay off those six thousand state employees who are stealing our grandchildren’s future.  (AAA!)  You need to –

Puppet:  STARVE THEM AND THEIR FAMILIES TO DEATH!

Dummy:  Now, now.  Don’t mind the puppet.  He’s just emotional because if he can’t collectively bargain why should anybody else get to?

Puppet:  RIGHT!

Dummy:  We don’t want to starve them, puppet.  We just want them to take their proper place in society.

Puppet:  RIGHT!

Dummy:  So.  Back to the notices.  Are you ready to send those out?

Scott Walker Dummy:  Dummy, we’re ready.  I don’t budge.

Dummy Babes:  SQUEE!

DUMMIES WAKE UP

Tex:  RELEASE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

WHY DUMMIES WANT TO TAKE WISCONSIN

NOTES

  1. “19:10 into THE FAKE PHONE CALL…”

On Tuesday, February 22, Buffalo Beast blogger, Ian Murphy, called Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, pretending to be billionaire, David Koch, of Koch Industries.  A transcript of the 20 minute plus call can be found here:

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

  1. “Well, I tell you what, Scott: once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali and really show you a good time.”

“All right, that would be outstanding.  Thanks a million!”

“Bye-bye!”

“Bye.”

“Murphy: Well, I tell you what, Scott: once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali and really show you a good time.

Walker: All right, that would be outstanding. Thanks, thanks for all the support and helping us move the cause forward, and we appreciate it. We’re, uh, we’re doing the just and right thing for the right reasons, and it’s all about getting our freedoms back.

Murphy: Absolutely. And, you know, we have a little bit of a vested interest as well. [Laughs]

Walker: Well, that’s just it. The bottom line is we’re gonna get the world moving here because it’s the right thing to do.

Murphy: All right then.

Walker: Thanks a million!

Murphy: Bye-bye!

Walker: Bye.”

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

  1. This is an exciting time. You’re one of us, Scotty. Our man on the ground.  How’s it feel down there?

Walker:  Well, actually, in his case I wouldn’t call him and I’ll tell you why: He’s pretty reasonable but he’s not one of us, um, so I would let him be. … …Yeah, well, thanks. This is an exciting time.

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

  1. “Read me the bill – that part in Section 44. Make it sing, Scotty. You know what we want.”

“The department may sell any state−owned heating, cooling, and power plant or may contract with a private entity for the operation of any such plant, with or without solicitation of bids, for any amount that the department determines to be in the best interest of the state. … No approval or certification of the public service commission is necessary for a public utility to purchase, or contract for the operation of, such a plant, and any such purchase is considered to be in the public interest and to comply with the criteria for certification of a project.”

Section 44.

16.896 of the statutes is created to read:

16.896 Sale or contractual operation of state−owned heating, cooling, and power plants. (1) Notwithstanding ss. 13.48 (14) (am) and 16.705 (1), the department may sell any state−owned heating, cooling, and power plant or may contract with a private entity for the operation of any such plant, with or without solicitation of bids, for any amount that the department determines to be in the best interest of the state. Notwithstanding ss. 196.49 and 196.80, no approval or certification of the public service commission is necessary for a public utility to purchase, or contract for the operation of, such a plant, and any such purchase is considered to be in the public interest and to comply with the criteria for certification of a project under s. 196.49 (3) (b).

http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Wisconsin_Assembly_Bill_11,_the_%22Scott_Walker_Budget_Repair_Bill%22_%282011%29

  1. “And who’s got your best interests, Scotty?”

“Oh, you, sir, you.  Flint Hills Resources, Koch Pipeline Company, The C. Reiss Coal Company.  We’re giving ‘em all to you.”

See “Wisconsin Is a Battleground Against the Billionaire Kochs’ Plan to Break Labor’s Back”, Adele M. Stan, AlterNet, February 18, 2011

http://www.alternet.org/story/149965/wisconsin_is_a_battleground_against_the_billionaire_kochs%27_plan_to_break_labor%27s_back?page=entire

  1. This is our moment. This is our chance to change the course of history.  You’re doing the just and right thing for the right reasons, and it’s all about getting our freedoms back.

All statements made by Scott Walker during the fake phone call (replace “you’re with “we’re” at the beginning of the third sentence.

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

  1. You were telling our viewers how you’re ratcheting up the pressure on these lazy, wealthy union thugs … The at-risk notices so you can lay off those six thousand state employees who are stealing our grandchildren’s future.

“And each day we’re going to ratchet it up a little bit. … So we’re trying about four or five different angles, so each day we crank up a little bit more pressure. The other thing is I’ve got layoff notices ready. We put out the at-risk notices. We’ll announce Thursday, and they’ll go out early next week. And we’ll probably get 5 to 6,000 state workers will get at-risk notices for layoffs. We might ratchet that up a little bit, you know.”

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

  1. Dummy, we’re ready. I don’t budge.

“I’ve had three or four of my other business-leader friends who know him over the years, and just kind of pass the message on to these guys, if they think I’m caving, they’ve been asleep for the last eight years ’cause I’ve taken on every major battle in Milwaukee County and won, even in a county where I’m overwhelmingly overpowered politically, and, ’cause I don’t budge.”

http://host.madison.com/wsj/article_531276b6-3f6a-11e0-b288-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

Why Dummies Want to Take Wisconsin