How Dummies Prepare to Shut Down Government

HOW DUMMIES PREPARE TO SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENT

Dummy:  Welcome to my Tea Party.  Today, we dummies want to discuss why it’s time to put an end to all of this wasteful foreign aid.

ROAM

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  I interrupt this program with some breaking news.  I’m here at the request of the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD and not to compete with any other dummy.

Dummies, wake up!

There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’.  Most members of congress didn’t even know.

Dummy:  You didn’t know?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We didn’t know.  We didn’t know.

Dummy:  Why didn’t you know?  Because you didn’t bothered to read it?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  It wasn’t that we didn’t bother to read it.  Of course we read it.  How else do you think we knew about the secret death panels (AAA!), the abortion provision (AAA!), the soviet style rationing (AAA!), that fact that it increases the cost of health care (AAA!) the slush fund for Acorn (AAA!) and the destruction of the private insurance market (AAA!) No, the reason we didn’t know is because it was hidden!

Dummy:  It was hidden?  (oh no!)  It was hidden?  (oh no!)  Where was it hidden?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  They hid it there!  Obamacare!

They hid it there!  Obamacare!  They didn’t care.

They broke it up!  They spread it out.  They hid it there!

It’s in the bill

Dummy:  It’s in the bill?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We didn’t know.

Dummy:  They hid it there?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  They hid the billions there!

Obamacare!

This is a crime, cause no one knew, that Harry Reid, the Kenyan fraud, with no long form, and Pelosi, they snuck it in, those little sneaks, behind closed doors, between the sheets, they stuck it in the bill!

Michele Bachmann Dummy & Dummy:  Obamacare!

They broke it up!  They spread it out!  They hid it there! Obamacare!

My Grandma’s toast.  And so is mine.  I’ll lose my home.  Obamacare!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We thought if we can’t repeal it at least we can defund it.

Dummy:  You can defund it.

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Now we can’t defund it.

Dummy:  You can’t defund it?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  No, it is done.  It is done.

Dummy:  Noooooo! (Oh nooo! Noooo!)

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  One hundred and five billion, four hundred and sixty four million, this was tucked away inside the Obamacare bill.

Dummy:  So there’s no way to remedy this?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Yes.  The good news is, government runs out of money on March 18th.

Dummy:  That is good news.

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  This is what we propose.  Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. And then we’ll start talking about the budget.

Dummy:  Meaning, you will shutdown the government unless this money that they inserted to fund Obamacare is given back?

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  That’s right.  So we need all you dummies out there to call your congressman,  Tell them “Give The Money Back”©.  (Give the money back!)  Be sure to use that exact phrase when you call so we know which households are full of dummies.  Then we can offer you special deals like these:

Dummy Advertisement 1:  One free year of SeniorAlert Help!  I’ve fallen and I can’t get put my head back on.

Dummy Advertisement 2:  Goldloan If you buy an ounce of gold right now we will give you a 5 year reverse mortgage with a forced liquidation option absolutely free!

Dummy Advertisement 3:  NRA.  A Glock 19 will protect you from liberals and Mexicans, but what about when gangster government comes knocking?  It’s time for all responsible citizens to own their own hydrogen bomb.

Dummy:  Those sound terrific!  I don’t know what we would do without patriots like you to protect us against breastfeeding, fluorescent light bulbs, and sneaky democrats.  To elect you as their representative, Minnesota’s sixth district must include some of the smartest people on the face of the-

ROAM

Dummy:  Dummies, you heard it here first.  105 billion dollars have been hidden inside of Obamacare.  Call your congressman today and say “hey ***hole, Give The Money Back!”

Tex:  RELEASE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Hello?  Hello?  Is it this particular turnip or can it be any turnip?  Because I’m definitely smarter than this turnip.  Hello?

HOW DUMMIES PREPARE TO SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENT

NOTES

  1. I’m here at the request of the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD and not to compete with any other dummy.

“I want to thank the Tea Party Express and Tea Party HD for inviting me to speak this evening. I’m here at their request and not to compete with the official Republican remarks.”

Transcript: Bachmann’s response to State of the Union

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-01-25/politics/sotu.response.bachmann_1_unemployment-national-debt-tea-party-express?_s=PM:POLITICS

  1. There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’. Most members of congress didn’t even know.

“There was a Congressional Research Service report that just was issued in February, and we discovered that secretly, unbeknownst to members of Congress, over $105 billion was hidden in the ‘Obamacare’ legislation to fund the implementation of ‘Obamacare’. This is something that wasn’t known. This money was broken up, hidden in various parts of the bill.”
–Rep. Michele Bachmann, March 6, 2011

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/2011/03/bachmanns_bombshell_on_a_hidde.html

  1. Why didn’t you know? Because you didn’t bothered to read it? / It wasn’t that we didn’t bother to read it. … the reason we didn’t know is because it was hidden!

Bachmann: Most members of Congress don’t even know.

Van Susteren: Because they never bothered to read it?

Bachmann: It isn’t that they didn’t bother to read it. It was hidden. As a matter of fact, a report came out just in October, Congressional Research Service, that revealed for the first time that over $105 billion was appropriated.

http://factcheck.org/2011/03/no-secret-bachmann-gets-it-wrong/

  1. This is a crime, cause no one knew, that Harry Reid, the Kenyan fraud, with no long form, and Pelosi, they snuck it in, those little sneaks, behind closed doors, between the sheets, they stuck it in the bill!

“This is a crime against democracy. No one knew that Harry Reid, [Nancy] Pelosi and Obama put $105 billion in spending in the bill. … This is a bombshell.”
–Bachmann, March 8, 2011

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fact-checker/2011/03/bachmanns_bombshell_on_a_hidde.html

  1. We thought if we can’t repeal it at least we can defund it. / You can defund it. / Now we can’t defund it. / You can’t defund it? / No, it is done. It is done. / Noooooo! / One hundred and five billion, four hundred and sixty four million, this was tucked away inside the Obamacare bill. / So there’s no way to remedy this? / Yes. The good news is, government runs out of money on March 18th.  This is what we propose.  Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. And then we’ll start talking about the budget. / Meaning, you will shutdown the government unless this money that they inserted to fund Obamacare is given back?

BACHMANN: Well, I think they knew, I think this was intentional. I think that, that’s why I say, Obama, Reid and Pelosi, they owe us an apology and an explanation. But they need to give the money back. This is the good news. The bad news is, Obamacare is prefunded for the next eight years, the implementation. We thought if we can’t repeal it —

HANNITY: You can defund it.

BACHMANN: — at least we can defund it. Now, we can’t defund it.

HANNITY: So, you’re telling people now that you cannot defund.

BACHMANN: No, it is done. It is done.

HANNITY: So, there’s no way to remedy this?

BACHMANN: Yes, there is. That’s the good news.

OK, now, the good news is, we’ve got this two week continuing resolution, government runs out of money on March 18th. This is what we’ve propose, we’ve written language to add on to the next continuing resolution that says, Obama, Pelosi, Reid, you give this money back. You didn’t tell the American people, you didn’t tell the Senate, you didn’t tell the House, give the money back. And then, we’ll start talking about the budget, this is the first thing.

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/hannity/transcript/bachmann-demands-democrats-give-back-105-billion-inside-health-care-law

  1. I don’t know what we would do without patriots like you to protect us against breastfeeding, fluorescent light bulbs, and sneaky democrats.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Bachmann

  1. Hello? Hello? Is it this particular turnip or can it be any turnip?  Because I’m definitely smarter than this turnip.  Hello?

Who’s Smarter:  Michele Bachmann of this Turnip?

www.facebook.com/turnipN2010

How Dummies Prepare to Shut Down Government

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