Which Dummy Will Throw A Hat Into The Ring

 

Dummy 1:  Welcome to my Tea Party.

Dummy 2:  Welcome to MY Tea Party.

Dummy 1:  We dummies are in suspense.

Dummy 2:  And in suspenders.  (looks)  That wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.

Dummy 1:  Dummies wake up!

Dummy 2:  The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president. (Yippee!)

Dummy 2:  And to repeal Obamacare. (Yippee!)

Dummy 1:  And to protect life (Yippee!)

Dummy 2:  from moms who murder.  (AAA!)

Dummy 1:  And to preserve Medicare for everyone currently over age 55.  (Yippee!)

Dummy 2:  And to dismantle it for everyone else.  (Yipp- huh?)  In order to save it.  (Yippee!)

Dummy 1:  And to get those liberals who tried to kill your grandmas with their death panels (AAA!) to stop scaring seniors with their Mediscare tactics.  (Yippee!)

Dummy 2:  And to reverse the out-of-control spending (AAA!)

Dummy 1:  And to stop extending the limit on the national credit card. (AAA!)

Dummy 2:  And to take the government out of the hands of the politician people and put it back in the hands of the people people. (Yippee!)

Dummy 1:  And the dummies.

Dummy 2:  Duh.

Dummy 1:  To beat the chosen one, who has failed America, we need a strong candidate to feel a calling and a tugging on her heart.  (Yippee!)

Dummy 2:  We need a darling of constitutional conservatism to be a fool for Jesus and scare the bejesus out of the dummies.  (Yippee!)

Dummy 1:  We need a certain someone to throw her hat into / THE RING.

ROAM

Dummy 1:  Hello?  Dummy?  Hello?

(TV comes on.  Change of view.  TV with snow.  Backs of dummy heads.  They look at each other.  One dummy turns the TV off.)

Dummy 1:  That was strange.

Dummy 2:  Old testament strange.

(TV blinks back on.  Snow.  Image: Well in the woods.  Bachmann rises)

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  I am very concerned that Barack Obama may have anti-American views.

Dummies:  AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  The American media should take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: are they pro-America or anti-America?

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We now have a total Gangster Government!

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  It’s total, in-your-face cronyism!

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  No business is safe when you see the administration appoint czars.

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Unelected bureaucracies will decide what we can and cant get in future health insurance policy. Thats why they’re called death panels.

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:   “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  It is our children who are the prize for (the gay) community, they are specifically targeting our children.

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  I don’t want the United States to be in a global economy where our economic future is bound to that of Zimbabwe.

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  We’re giving money to corrupt organizations like Planned Parenthood that is committing crimes and enabling young, minor girls. Planned Parenthood is the LensCrafters of big abortion!

Dummies: AAA!

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Our phones have been ringing off the hook, our Facebook has been lit up, our donations are pouring in. People are saying ‘Michele jump in, we want you to run.   We’re coming very close now.  Very very close.

Tex:  VALIDATE THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

Michele Bachmann Dummy:  Who in their right mind would spend two years to run for a job that lasts for two years? You’d have to be absolutely a fool to do that. You are now looking at a fool for Christ. This is a fool for Christ.”

WHICH DUMMY WILL THROW A HAT INTO THE RING

NOTES

  1. That wasn’t intended to be a factual statement.

After Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl stated on the House Floor that 90% of Planned Parenthood’s services were abortion related (the number is actually about 3%), his office issued the statement ‘his remark was not intended to be a factual statement, but rather to illustrate that Planned Parenthood, a organization that receives millions of dollars in taxpayer funding, does subsidize abortions.’

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/04/08/157415/kyl-walks-back-claim-about-planned-parenthoo/

  1. The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one term president.

Senate Republican leader, Mitch McConnell, 10-27-2010 as reported here:

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/oct/27/news/la-pn-obama-mcconnell-20101027

  1. And to repeal Obamacare.

“I am committed: I will not rest until we repeal ObamaCare.”

Michele Bachmann (R-Minn), 6-3-2011:

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/06/03/bachmann_america_will_not_rest_until_we_repeal_obamacare.html

  1. And to protect life / from mom’s who murder.

If life begins at conception then isn’t it an obvious conclusion that the danger to that life is from mom’s who murder?

  1. And to preserve Medicare for everyone currently over age 55. And to dismantle it for everyone else.  In order to save it.

“A plan put forward by House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan would not affect people over age 55, but future Medicare beneficiaries would instead be given government subsidies to purchase private health insurance. Independent analysts have concluded beneficiaries would end up paying more.”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43233683/ns/politics/t/gop-presses-obama-spending-cuts-medicare/

  1. And to get those liberals who tried to kill your grandma with their death panels to stop scaring seniors with their Mediscare tactics.

Grassley Endorses Death Panel Rumor

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/12/grassley-endorses-death-p_n_257677.html

House GOP Freshmen Call on President Obama to Stop the MediSCARE tactics

http://www.speaker.gov/Blog/?postid=240897

  1. And to reverse the out-of-control spending and to stop extending the limit on the national credit card.

“If we do not reverse the out-of-control spending that has led us here, it would be grossly irresponsible for us to extend the limit on the national credit card.”  Letter signed by 104 House Republicans and sent to House Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor.

http://www.nasdaq.com/aspx/stock-market-news-story.aspx?storyid=201106061216dowjonesdjonline000185&title=more-than-100-house-republicans-call-for-budget-deficit-to-be-halved-in-fy12

  1. “Put government back in the hands of the people.”

Common nonsensical republican talking point.

  1. To beat the chosen one, who has failed America, we need a strong candidate to feel a calling and a tugging on her heart.

Chosen one:

Failed America:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/jun/2/romney-barack-obama-has-failed-america/

Calling & Tugging on her heart: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5huNXGP7xkJ46bsppMignEOIYisMw?docId=f1a5876c7fa347fa8c4efe29fb27c203

  1. We need a darling of constitutional conservatism to be a fool for Jesus and scare the bejesus out of the dummies.

Darling of constitutional conservatism:

http://www.alternet.org/rss/breaking_news/316852/eying_gop_leadership__role,_bachmann_plans_to_start_%E2%80%98constitutional_conservative_caucus%E2%80%99/

To be a fool for Jesus:

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/03/bachmann-prayer-and-inner-assurance-to-decide-2012-plans-video.php

  1. “I am very concerned that Barack Obama may have anti-American views.”

Michele Bachmann, 10-17-2008

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Bachmann

  1. “We now have a total Gangster Government! … It’s total, in-your-face cronyism! … business is safe when you see the administration appoint … czars. ”

Michele Bachmann, 6-10-2009

http://www.politico.com/blogs/glennthrush/0609/Bachmann_bemoans_gangster_government.html

http://imkane.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/tea-party-speech/

  1. Unelected bureaucracies will decide what we can and cant get in future health insurance policy. Thats why they’re called death panels.

Michele Bachmann, 12-23-2009

And it’s the part dealing with the Medicare Advisory Board — what many people have labeled the death panels — because these unelected bureaucracies will decide what we can and can’t get in future health insurance policy.  That’s why they’re called death panels.

http://politicalcorrection.org/blog/200912230001

  1. The President of the United States will be taking a trip over to India that is expected to cost the taxpayers $200 million a day.

Michele Bachmann, 11-3-2010

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michele_Bachmann

  1. “And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.”

“And what a bizarre time we’re in, Jan, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.” — Senator Michele Bachmann, appearing as guest on radio program “Prophetic Views Behind The News”, hosted by Jan Markell, KKMS 980-AM, March 6, 2004.

http://www.thebachmannrecord.com/thebachmannrecod.html

  1. We’re giving money to corrupt organizations like Planned Parenthood that is committing crimes and enabling young, minor girls.” “Planned Parenthood is the LensCrafters of big abortion!”

Michele Bachmann, 6-3-2011 & 4-12-2011

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20068664-503544.html

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/75700/michele-bachmann-planned-parenthood-is-the-lenscrafters-of-big-abortion/

  1. “Our phones have been ringing off the hook, our Facebook has been lit up, our donations are pouring in. People are saying ‘Michele jump in, we want you to run.” “We’re coming very close now.”

Michele Bachmann, 5-17-2011 & 5-27-2011

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/may/17/news/la-pn-bachmann-decision-20110517

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5huNXGP7xkJ46bsppMignEOIYisMw?docId=f1a5876c7fa347fa8c4efe29fb27c203

  1. Who in their right mind would spend two years to run for a job that lasts for two years? You’d have to be absolutely a fool to do that. You are now looking at a fool for Christ. This is a fool for Christ.

“And in the midst of that calling, God then called me to run for the United States Congress. And I thought, what in the world would that be for? And my husband said “You need to do this.” And I wasn’t so sure. And we took three days, and we fasted and we prayed. And we said “Lord, is this what you want? Is this Your will?” And after — along about the afternoon of day two — He made that calling sure. And it’s been now 22 months that I’ve been running for United States Congress. Who in their right mind would spend two years to run for a job that lasts for two years? You’d have to be absolutely a fool to do that. You are now looking at a fool for Christ. This is a fool for Christ.”

Michele Bachmann, 10-18-2006

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/03/bachmann-prayer-and-inner-assurance-to-decide-2012-plans-video.php

Which Dummy Will Throw A Hat Into The Ring