Why Dummies Shut Down Government

Dummy 1:

I be a dummy.

A dummy I be.

Welcome to my Tea Party.

We dummies have successfully shut down the government for one week.

Dummies: Yippee!

Dummy 1:

Why you might ask.

Here is the speaker of the Dummies to explain.

Ted Cruz Dummy:


I do not like Obamacare.

I do not want it anywhere.

And since you all will not agree

I’m killing the economy.


Dummy 1:

But you may like it

You will see.

Even in

your Tea Party.

Your Tea Party’s on Medicare

They just may like Obamacare.

Ted Cruz Dummy:

I do not like it

Dummy I be.

It won’t be in my Tea Party.

I do not like Obamacare

You strip it from the public square

And if you don’t, well, you will see

I’ll kill this whole economy

I’ll kill for lady liberty

I’ll bring Obama to his knee

I’ll seize a spot in history

They’ll know my name

Ted Cruz Dummy.


Dummy 1:

You do not like it

So you say.

Try it! Try it!

And you may.

Try it and you may, I say.

Ted Cruz Dummy:

I will not try it

Dummy I be.

I will not try it

With my Tea.

I will not try it here or there

I do not like Obamacare!

You cannot make me

You will see.

I’ll kill the whole economy

You’ll see my name in history

Or I’m not Ted Cruz Dummy

Dummy 1:

Anything to add, Mr. Speaker?


John Boehner Dummy:

We’re bringing fairness to the American people under Obamacare

And doing something about our spending problem.

Dummy 1:

Anything else?

John Boehner Dummy:

Um …

Ted Cruz Dummy:

This isn’t a game.

John Boehner Dummy:

This isn’t some damn game. (hic)

Dummy 1:

Dummies, wake up! Stick to your guns.  Stay together.  Nothing short of full repeal. Or one year delay.  Or strip out the tax on medical devices.  Or come to the table for a discussion.  We have the hostage.  We’re going to shoot.  And guarantee all back pay.


We have to get something out of this

And I don’t know what that even is.



Why Dummies Shut Down Government

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